weird scenes inside the goldmine

dazed & confused....

Moment of inner freedom
when the mind is opened and the
infinite universe revealed
& the soul is left to wander
dazed & confus'd searching
here & there for teachers & friends.

a return to the 'sphere'

My poor blog has sat lifeless for nearly five months now. I don't know how or why this happens, but I just sort of forget to blog at times. Here I sit at nearly at the end of November, wondering where so many months have gone.

Feeling a bit unfocused now and not really in the mood to write, but wanted to put something up, to get the ball rolling again. More to come....

not all it's cracked up to be....

A bit annoyed with life in the US as of late; economy in a tailspin, rising unemployment, people bitching about high gas prices, while driving gas guzzling SUV's, wealthy spoiled children who complain if they are not properly 'entertained'

The whole 'God bless America' rhetoric just does not bode well with me in this day and age. We're living in a age of ethnocentrism, consumerism and uninformed hegemony. We need to consume less, stop taking so much for granted, quit complaining, open our eyes to the rest of the world, show interest, demonstrate a humanist, global perspective and perhaps just chill out a bit. Sure, I appreciate that I was born and raised in a 'free' nation; a land of wealth and opportunity...but, being back here at times is beginning to take it's toll. There are, of course many reasons to be thankful, don't get me wrong. I just get increasingly pissed off when I listen to some of the attitudes that still abound here...especially in the US Midwest.

C'mon everyone, get over yourselves! This is particularly evident, when discussing the future of US Politics. Only recently, was I embroiled in debate with a woman who not only supported Bill O'Reilly, but thought Anne Coulter, was a genius.

How can any educated person actually think this insular idiocy is remotely worth a listen?

radio silence in the heartland...

They call the Midwest US 'America's heartland'....but lately, I've just not felt any sort of 'heart' or feeling.

After living 9 months in the lovely land of green, I'm feeling a bit stuck; a bit perplexed as to what comes next and where I belong. I think I face these feelings every time i return 'home' -- you know, that not quite 'fitting in' feeling, even tho' you know this is where you grew up, played, laughed, suffered through the many pains of adolescence. I have great memories here, but it's all feeling so far away at present. I feel removed from that life. 

With this disconnected feeling comes bouts of self doubt and wonder....such as 'do i really want to be back in the US?' do i really belong here?

I don't know.

If I can't stay in the EU (legally and financially) and I can't afford to truly travel as I'd like, where then, do I belong?

I live a different life and view the world a bit differently than my friends and family....those who i love and cherish and have a very deep history and connection with - yet, feel still a bit out of sorts. My views and opinions, my priorities and passions are all different. The idea of mortgage, marriages and children just don't do it for me at this phase of my life -- this, the very 'phase' when everyone tells you (society that is) that you "should" want this stuff.

All I can think about is finishing my doctoral research, my work -- getting back out in the world and re-connecting. Exploring and learning. Photography and writing. Volunteering. Don't want the house, the gas guzzling car or any of those trappings.  Love family, love friends....just don't envision myself here.

My next 'step' was to find a full time job and save up a bit of cash, since Ireland depleted me. I sort of feel like I "need" to be in DC for the work I am doing....for now. The idea of being in DC originally excited me. i would be able to re-engaage on the issues, get more involved, etc, etc.

Now I just want to pack up my camera and hit the road again. I know, it may sound irresponsible to those of you who read this blog, but it's just in my genetic make up to wander....to find the next big (or small) thing. I feel totally alive when on the road. Need to figure out how to blend these desires with a more practical plan to actually make a salary.

Hundreds, if not thousands of folks have gone before me -- found a way to stay on the road and sustain thyself.

Obama fever

Empire Strikes Barack

HILARIOUS!!

the end of mugabe?

Ode to Phillip Seymour Hoffman

...quite possibly one of the most brilliant actors of this generation. Even in the worst of films, Hoffman shines. 

Before the Devil Knows Your Dead is a terse thriller that starts with Philip Seymour Hoffman as a frustrated, drug-abusing stockbroker who is unable to satisfy his gorgeous wife, Marisa Tomei. Lives begin to unravel when discussions are made about pulling off a heist to 'solve' their money woes. Everything about this idea is risky, and naturally, the plan falls to shit, resulting in a series of tragedies that they never could have predicted.  This film is a classic in the making, contending against classics like Serpico and Dog Day Afternoon. 

The cinematography is fab, but the performances are what makes this truly golden. Oscar-winner Hoffman simply steals it....

Other top Hoffman performances:

• Charlie Wilson's War 
• The Savages
  
• Capote
• Empire Falls
  
• Strangers with Candy
  
• Cold Mountain 
• Owning Mahowny
• 25th Hour
  
• Red Dragon 
  
• Punch-Drunk Love 
• Love Liza
  
• Almost Famou s
  
• The Talented Mr. Ripley
  Magnolia
• Flawless
• Happiness 
• The Big Lebowski  
• Next Stop Wonderland
  
• Montana
• And one of his best....Boogie Nights

Here Comes (and goes) the Sun....

An absolutely stellar day today -- in fact, mind boggling for the past three days - sunny, clear, gorgeous. It's amazing how a little sunshine can indeed, inject a world of happiness into society, at least for a few days. The lighting this afternoon/evening was nearly perfect.

Wishing I had better filters...

How America Can Be a Superpower the World Respects

http://www.alternet.org/audits/76252/